Calm Amongst the Chaos

Mama of 5 seeking calm in the chaos

I can handle the truth. I prefer to handle the truth. This is why I have some struggles with my sweet precious Andi, likes to tell stories, Jane.
We really went through this in Kindergarten. I am pretty sure I told these stories already, one instance my friend asks me “when can we come see these birds at your house my girls keep talking about?” “What birds” I reply. “The ones that had eggs that hatched.” “Yeah… no birds. I despise birds. There are no birds in our house”
Another fun instance was when one of Andi’s classmates parents said to me “so you’re from Canada?” “Ummm no” I know my face was on fire as my ears felt like they used to on my first day in the sun as a kid sans sunblock of course.
But after many talks, many talks, I thought these days were behind us. Andi went from story telling to killing me with embarrassment with her true stories. Until recently.
Andi kept telling me that she is going to move up to the other reading group. One step higher is the CATs reading program. Like super smart kids. I was like, wow, really? She kept saying after spring break. Then it was the first day back for spring break and I said “did you move into the new reading group” “yes” “how was it?” “fun, not too hard” “Let’s call Grandma and tell her” “Ok” so we call Grandma, I am so proud at this moment. Thinking all this time I put into her every single night reading has really paid off. Then the next day she shows me her report card. It’s good. It’s AVERAGE. Not above grade level. Not above grade level in reading. Hmmm weird. I imagine a kid has an above grade level grade who is in advanced reading….. Gah! “Andi freaking Jane!” “what?” “Did you really start the new reading class?” “nooooo….. I thought I was going to move up, my teacher always tells me I am a good reader” “Yes but did your teacher ever say you were going to move up?” “Not exactly….” So this was long and drawn out. It included a call to Grandma to apologize. It included a we love you if you are in the lowest reading group or the highest, but you can’t lie. It ends with my famous words, no truth is worse than your lie.
I was disappointed and upset. Not that she is didn’t move up in reading. Disappointed in her lying. It’s not like we are one of those families that say we only expect the best. Quite the opposite. I think she really wanted it to be true and she must have thought she could wish it into fruition. Or that I would forget all about it. Sigh. This kid….
But it is hard to stay mad long with her because she is so sweet and her heart is so big and it is in the right place. So all I can do is continue to praise her for being her, keep telling her the turth will set her free and keep praying God keeps her close and guides her since I can’t always be there.
This was a sweet moment I captured on video the other night. Andi Jane was just interacting with Lily so sweetly I had to record it. The setting was in sepia tone (I have no clue why) so it looks a little weird, but Andi Jane asks Lily for a kiss and Lily lays one on her. Love this.

3 thoughts on “I Can Handle The Truth

  1. sarah says:

    Oh, Kim, that video clip is just the sweetest!

  2. Chase says:

    It sounds to me like it didn't necessarily start out as a lie. Perhaps she really thought her teachers compliments meant she was going to move up. After a while, when it didn't happen, she might have been afraid she'd disappoint you if you found out she wasn't really moving up. Obviously she shouldn't have feared that would happen, but as an adult I find myself falling into that mode of thinking sometimes, I can only imagine how much easier it is to think that at her age.I'm also not trying to excuse or justify her actions, but, to me, it doesn't sound like you are regressing back to the issues you had in the past.

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