Calm Amongst the Chaos

Mama of 5 seeking calm in the chaos

My Dad always says “disappointment is my only friend”. He always says it with a chuckle of course because my dad always seems to be joking. I am sure it is surprising to know not only did I get my dutch looks and nose from my dad but I also got his ability to laugh at times of sadness and when someone falls. And when it is totally inappropriate. And maybe a bit of his pessimism thrown in with a joke to make it look like it is not so pessimistic, it is … what is the word I am looking for friends????? REALISM! Yes my friends, I believe there are optimists, pessimists and realists and only the optimists look at a realist and say oh they are pessimists. But it is not true, us realists are so not pessimists, but the crappy thing is only we know the difference.
Woah…tangent… annnnd we’re back.
But I get that whole sad statement, disappointment is my only friend. I don’t relate to it. I actually have awesome friends. The best a girl can get. So I don’t relate, but I get it. I think I am disappointed 80 times a day. I get disappointed in choices I see other people make. I am not judging them, but I do feel a sense of disappointment when I see things on the news, or hear about someone who did something. And I am sure I disappoint others time and time again. It is a fact of life and some people find comfort in knowing disappointment. They know it is always there and will always be there. Again, I don’t love disappointment, I just am very well aware of his presence and don’t shudder when he comes. I, well, I usually chuckle at his entrance.
But I am not here to talk about disappointment and negativity and all those things that make us warm and fuzzy.. I actually wanted to talk about things that made my week so much better last week. Bright sunny optimistic things!
I saw hope in our future. I saw a twist on what I always thought just was.
I saw (not personally but via the internet) that Karly got to go to prom! Karly at 16 who has CDKL5 just like Lily, got to go to prom with her brother. She looked gorgeous and had a smile to light up the room. Karly’s mom thought Karly would never go to prom, so her brother made that a reality for her family. I too thought prom was just another thing we had to count on not happening, but now I don’t feel that way. I know Oliver is probably not gonna be the one to take her considering he will still be in elementary school when Lily is in high school, but I have confidence that it now isn’t a never for us anymore.
AND last week I went to watch my niece Skylar pole vault in her high school meet and I watched a set of parents who sat there for hours waiting to watch their blind daughter pole vault. Yes, blind daughter pole vault. I think on an interview they did of her she said she had 20/400 vision. I don’t know about you but I had a hard time seeing at 20/40 and got surgery to fix it. All I could think about was her parents, because as much as I hate to admit it I am far closer to being a parent of a high schooler, than an actual high schooler anymore, and I watched how proud they were and how I can only imagine when she was little and was diagnosed with a severe visual impairment, I imagine the lists they made of all the things she will probably never be able to do, but look at her now. Pole Vaulting! I was so impressed and inspired by this girl and her parents, they may or may have not been crushed by the news that their daughter had a disability, but it didn’t stop them from letting her try things and inspire others.
So while the world may never stop disappointing us, I also hope it never stops inspiring us as well. And I hope everyone has their eyes open to these experiences that show us life may not be what we always think it will be.

One thought on “The Realist gets Optimistic?

  1. Yeah, ive been a realist my whole life yet my folks at home consider it my pessimism. But never have i lost hope, no matter what the situation. I always saw the bright inside the dark. While it can be a real pain when disapointments pile up like crazy, i have always smiled perhaps shed a tear alone. But im good to go, redy as ever, always.

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