Calm Amongst the Chaos

Mama of 5 seeking calm in the chaos

It is pretty rare that I read a book and I say holy crap, that is my life. Written from a person who is spying on my family. But it happened. It actually happened a long time ago before I even knew it was foreshadowing my own life. But it happened and I guess it probably happens to a whole lot of tired mamas when they read Give a Mouse a Cookie.
I am sure you all thought I may be diving deeper here with a start up like that, but I am not.

I am a tired mama and my kids are like mice with cookies, that ask for milk, then of course needing a straw…. except one kid will want water with ice, the other will want the milk. The other won’t ask for anything because she is non verbal but I will feel bad that she isn’t asking and I will make her a glass of chocolate milk.
And then we will go from mom needs a little nap to asking them to just be quiet and color for a bit, but then we will need to find tape to hang up that colored art work. And mom never gets a nap. And those kids quit that nap crap all when they were like 2 so yeah. No rest. No naps. Not even ever.
Oh that book is so true. It was true when they were toddlers and guys it is true when they are school aged kids. I can only imagine it will be true as high schoolers and maybe even into college.
I love my kids! Dearly! But man. They are exhausting.
I work. I have to. I always have. They know this. This isn’t something new that just happened. I have always worked. I got 1 fortunate year off when Oliver was a baby and worked from home, but I have always worked. Even when I was home, I have always worked.
I am however fortunate to only work the hours they are in school. I take them to school, go to work and am there to pick them up. And because of those things they get to do things like karate, basketball, volleyball, wear clothes. Eat food. Sometimes even get stupid crap at Target when mommy is getting her stupid crap there too. I am not perfect people. Shopping soothes me.
But even though I am there at drop off and pick up, they are often upset that I can’t eat lunch with them at school every day.
I wish I could sit and have lunch with them. I love that they want me there, I really really do. But I can’t do that very often. It is a special treat when I can make it work, but then they both have the tendency to cry and want me to take them home with them after lunch. Sigh. Not winning. Am I ever winning?
I realize though as much as I relate to this theory and see this in our own children, I know this is how I operate as well. It’s how we all operate right? I mean Laura Numeroff didn’t just come up with this idea by following my future family around back in the 80’s. She probably had children of her own that had this empty hole inside of them that nothing ever satisfied. Laura herself probably did as well. She didn’t stop at that book she went on to make an entire series of books all following this theme.
So sometimes I end my night exhausted and know tomorrow will bring me the same things all over again until they grow up and move out and move on. Except Lily, she isn’t a jerk and won’t move out on us. But then they are gone and I will be like …hey want a cookie?. Please come home and have lunch with me. I will pour you milk. And ice water. And give you a straw.
It almost seems unfair the way this life cycle goes. Here today driving us crazy, gone tomorrow driving us crazy.
We all have this insatiable feeling in us, it starts as children and some may die with it inside of them. I like to think I am working on this. I am trying to fill myself with meats that only God can provide and fill me with. I desire contentment and want that for our kids as well. But it’s hard. We always see the bigger and better and finding the comforts that lie within our own lives is sometimes hard to find but I am working on it.
We are all works in progress. We are all thirsty and want milk with our cookies.
Praying to God for that thirst to be quenched.

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