Calm Amongst the Chaos

I feel like I need to apologize for a part of my post yesterday, I was on such a high from being inspired, having the conversation with that family and just feeling like a completeness with my church family that I feel like I may have been insulting to other people’s religion. Some people may love going to church where they sing out of hymnals and love hearing the scripture read. It was not my intent to be disrespectful any other religion or practices of their religion, I was just very excited about my own. I realized it was like two best friends hanging out and one says I just love my new DD’s I paid $7,000 for they are perfect and I can’t imagine ever being an A cup again. All the while the other best friend is sitting there with her A cup boobs that she has always liked and starts feeling a little insecure. Not my intention to show off my DD’s not at all. If you are happy with your A cup than that is all that matters.
We live in America where we have the freedom to explore whatever spiritual avenue we want to explore and that is a right that I love and honor and please don’t be offended if you like hymn #82.
I feel better now, do you?
Now let me start to complain. At the geneticists urging I went ahead and got Lily the Flu shot, just the regular seasonal flu shot, not H1N1. She hasn’t had it since she was 4 and is fine every year without it. I think the less in her system the better. BUT the geneticists made me feel that if Lily got the flu she could suffer some major complications, death included. Well all I could think about was her getting the flu and dying and I would be blaming myself for not getting her that shot. I would have to live with going against medical advice for the rest of my life. So she got the shot on Wednesday morning when I took her in for the antibiotics. Wednesday afternoon she started a huge hissy fit that lasted about 2 hours. She does go through spells were she is fussy in the afternoon so I didn’t think much of it. But then she did it Thursday afternoon and Friday as well in Greer Andrew said. Her cold got worse and so she has this thick runny green stuff that just won’t stop and that is still going on today (day 5 on antibiotics). And the real kicker is her seizures are worse than ever. Like her atonic drops have been getting worse, but this morning she had a full fledge tonic clonic that made her so sad (as well as me) and then so tired. And then she had to still do horse therapy, OT and music. Poor kid! I did take her to school afterwards because she seemed to be in better spirits, but of course told them to call for any reason if I need to get her. So is this all related to the flu shot or am I crazy? I forgot to mention her lack of sleep. She didn’t sleep but maybe 5 hours each night in Greer, much to Andrew’ dismay, and last night I heard her from 4 am on. So the lack of sleep could have triggered the seizure, but then why the lack of sleep? What the holy crap is going on? I pray I didn’t do the wrong thing giving her the flu shot. I am just so tired of having to know everything and I really know nothing. It is so hard being a mom period, and then you have to add all this gooey layers that complicate everything. Andi got the nasal mist (flu shot) on Wednesday and I am guessing that is why she has the cold symptoms, low grade fever and cough but this was her first flu shot ever in her life, but she gets sick so often that I decided to have her get it. We will see if it is all worth it. I don’t get it myself and am fine every year. I just got scared with the whole Lily could die from the flu. Call me crazy but use that word and Kimmy gets a bit freaked.
I have a call in with neuro and am anxiously waiting for his call. I am not all that patient and will start messing with her meds myself if I don’t hear from him soon. It’s how I roll.
That is my update for the day. Not sure if this post will cause more problems than my last because I know what immunization talk can stir. Don’t cyber yell at me if you think I shouldn’t have gotten her the shot, because she already got it and I am already uneasy about it.
Geeze next post should be about politics, and then I’d have all the hot topics covered in one week.