Calm Amongst the Chaos

Mama of 5 seeking calm in the chaos

We make wishes off fallen eyelashes. I know this isn’t a new revelation, I did it as a kid and I am passing it onto my kids. Andi just loves it when it happens and sometimes I catch her tugging on her eyelashes trying to get them to come out, I let her know they have to fall naturally.
This morning as I fed Lily her breakfast I saw on her cheek a fallen eyelash. I told Lily about it and asked if she wanted to make a wish. Like often I felt like my words fell upon deaf ears. I called Andi Jane into the room and said “Lily has a fallen eyelash, want to make a wish for her?” I told her that her wish has to be for Lily and she was so excited to do it. She blows and looks at me with her big brown eyes and says, “I can’t tell you what I wished for, but Lily would love it” (she says love very dramatically). I can only imagine she wished for Lily to get a new toy that Andi would adopt, or pizza for dinner, but maybe it was something a little deeper. I ask Lily, “did you hear that? Andi made a wish for you. What would you wish for Lily?” I know the question is for me and my mind races. What would Lily wish for? Would she wish for something big, like a cure for CDKL5? To walk? Talk? Or would her wish be smaller? Maybe she’d wish that I could know her cries. Would she wish for me to understand her better? Meet her needs quicker? I have such a hard time when she goes through these crying spells. I just don’t know what she wants and what she needs. I just wish I knew. I guess we can always wait for my next fallen eyelash.

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