Calm Amongst the Chaos

Man, if love hurts, parenting is down right excruciatingly painful! Emotionally and physically!
Lily’s seizures are back. She is sleeping again, eating just fine. Not sick. Everything is fine and she is up to two grand mals a day again. Suck it. I hate seizures and the only thing I probably hate more is the medication to stop the seizures. Back when she was little I would be on the phone with neuro a week ago, but I’m not jumping to do so because I don’t want to up anymore of her meds that are already super high doses, I don’t want to add a new med. Suck it all. Seizures you really need to get a life and stop bugging ours!
Because we are a blue collared construction family and our country is currently experiencing an economic crisis we are kind of screwed, so mama has her work pants on. I am waiting tables at a very cool sports bar near our home. It is actually been really fun so far. Cool customers, chill atmosphere, great owner, awesome job. Plus it is a nice way for me to get out of the house and make money while doing so. I waited tables 9 years ago but I was a little too nervous to ever be any good at it, but this place is different and maybe the fact that I deal with 3 demanding little creatures all day long so getting beer for dudes watching football is far easier. But what makes parenthood excruciatingly painful is not because I have to work on my feet now for 6 hour shifts at a time, it is because my beautiful little 5 year old daughter was playing with a heavy metal rod that she was no suposed to be playing with and she dropped it on my pinky toe. The pinky toe connected to the feet that have to be walked on for 6 hour shifts. Yes she was sorry. Yes it was an accident, but my Lord that hurt. Does hurt. Will hurt. Gonna hurt your eyes when you look at it….
See…