Things I have learned getting older while raising small children
1. Once you hit 30, you start loosing count… ie when I heard Brittany Spears was 30 now I said, “I didn’t realize we were the same age” we’re not.
2. Despite what you “thought” a 4 year age difference is not a big enough gap to not have fighting children. I’m sure a 26 year gap wouldn’t… wait that is the age gap between Andi Jane and me.
3. The minute you sit down to eat and maybe even sigh a sigh of relief you will then look over at your special needs daughter, who has issues with constipation, at that moment start trying to poop.
4. You finally understand what your English teacher was explaining to you about antagonists and protagonists and put your children in each role.
5. A 6 year old and a 2 year old never seem to compromise on a show
6. Boys will pee anywhere and on anything.
7. A chair your 6 year old never wants to sit in will all of a sudden be the only chair she wants to sit in once she realizes her 2 year old brother loves that chair. See # 4.
8. When you first became a mom all you wanted to hear was that word, mom. Many years later you wish and maybe just for a second, they’d stop saying it. At least just for one blessed minute.
9. You realize that all the things you would complete in your 30’s will have to wait til your 40’s.
10. If all he will eat is yogurt and oatmeal that day you feel accomplished.
11. You are thrilled your aunt flow came to visit. Again.
12. Ecstasy is 10pm when everyone is asleep and you are in bed with your remote, DVR and a glass of wine.
13. A treat is a $4 Starbucks, hopefully handed to you by the cute barista.
14. Turning up the volume only turns up their volume
15. You can’t remember the last time you bought yourself something at retail price.
16. Sleep is a luxury, not a right
17. No matter how many kids you have each and every one of them will have something weird medically, one can be as serious as a one in a million gene deletion, and one can be as minor as reoccurring ear infections, but they will all have something “weird” going on and it is all important to you.
18. When you hear “look at what YOUR SON just did with MY soap” coming from the mouth of your daughter, you not only don’t come, you just write about in your word document while laughing to yourself.
19. You hope that because their parents have tattoos they will think they are so “old school”
20. Just because it was ok for us to get married at 22 and 19, you pray they don’t even think about it.
21. You are no longer jealous of those young girls in their 20’s because you know all they have in store for them
22. You’re also not jealous of those empty nesters because you know what they are missing.
23. You are pretty happy right where you are.
24. Although get-away trips do seem to be all you fantasize about
25. You don’t care where you go but a date with your husband is the highlight of the month
26. You really miss the dimples in their fingers when you realize they are gone.
27. You realize that even though your life has changed absolutely and completely, you would never in a million years even for one spilt second wish for a life without them.
28. You never loose hope for them, no matter what any one says
29. You still mean everything you said in #27 even after seeing what your son did do with her soap and just spent 15 minutes cleaning it up
30. You stop your list on 30, thinking once again that is how old you are.