Calm Amongst the Chaos

Sigh… I am tired. Life is wearing on me. This beautiful ride of a life isn’t looking all that pretty.
I’m fine, just feeling beat down. Several rough mornings in a row just starts an attitude that I have a hard time flipping.
It should have been an awesome morning getting the girls off to school, but it wasn’t. Lily’s bus never showed and by 8:20am I no longer had the option to sit on my thumbs waiting because Andi had to be to school by 8:30am. Oli decides for the 2nd day in the past few to open the front door having our dogs fly out like they are racing for a prize, but I couldn’t do anything about it. We fly to school, the girls just make it in time, but I was grumpy and I didn’t get to be excited with them and their day. I knew what awaited me at home was 4 voice mails telling me so and so found our dogs and could we pick them up and why did I know this? Because this just happened the other day. Yup 4 calls, 2 different people. Go pick them up, very nice people and I was very gracious, but my day was off by an hour. I have so much work to do. I have this newsletter I need to finish up. I have to get on the ball for the fundraiser in two weeks in South Dakota. I feel like I am being swallowed by life and I can’t get out. I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I have good kids. It isn’t like I’m fighting with them. I am busy but aren’t all moms? I know we have more therapy and dr. apts than others, but how do others seem to function while I feel like I treading water and not getting anywhere? Is it because I am working more now? I think if I were a stay at home mom again it would be easier, but would it? I don’t know. Maybe I just suck at time management. But it seems like I am sucking at every aspect of my life. I still want that damn pause button I’ve been asking for since Oli was born. Where is it???? We can pause live tv, why not life? Oh the things I would be able to get done with one. Who knows maybe I could be the next Stephanie Meyers if I had a pause button. I could write about vampires, love and CDKL5. It would be beautiful and so popular and I’d have so much money that I would never have to lie awake in the middle of the night wondering when all this Dave Ramsy stuff will prove itself and we get some breathing room.
Oh the babbling of a girl who should be working through her lunch break, not writing on her silly blog she can’t even keep up with.
Sigh.
Where is that pause button and can someone please direct me to easy street?