Calm Amongst the Chaos

Mama of 5 seeking calm in the chaos

Spring breaks are long here in the chandler unified school district. Very long. They go to school for 9 weeks and then take off 2 weeks and 2 days til summer and that is when this whole thing pays for itself, summer break is only 7 weeks. Boo ya. Is that how to spell boo ya? Is that two words or one? I’ll take words that aren’t words for 1000 Alex.
But yesterday was the last day of our long spring break, then they get Friday off. For Good Friday you ask, Lord no. Yes, but no. It’s “Spring Holiday”. Then we are back in session til the end of May.
Why such a long introduction to what I want to say? Because I wanted to. I always do. I give way more back ground to a story than an actual story. So there.
Spring break… ahhh break is never a word I think people should be throwing around when you work out of the home some days and have to figure where they all need to go and the days you don’t work you work 2x as hard with all three kids in the house together. They fight, yell and break things.
I was able to get care for Lily on my work days the first week because ASU had the same break so Lily’s respite worker was able to help out and we put Andi in an acting camp that our neighbor took her to and from for me and Oli went to Nancy’s where he always goes. The second week Lily came to work with me, Monday and Tuesday and Andi came Tuesday as well which was really helpful, she is the best sitter Lily can get 🙂 But what I am trying to talk about is the days I didn’t work. The days I had all the kids. The days that I felt nutty.
We had appointments to kill one day, a zoo-date in record breaking heat another day, mall trip (I already spoke of), Target trips, pool days (my favorite), birthday parties, daddy driving race cars and lunch dates. We never stopped the whole break. Never. Grandma and Grandpa came from South Dakota on Thursday and it has been so helpful to have them here! I was able to get to work early on Friday and Monday .. so early in fact I am done with my work today and now blogging to you all.
Also during this break I have been trying to track down medical records that I have to say on record HAS BEEN HELL! Hell I say! I won’t even bother going into the details of this hassle, just know that pre HIPPA I was able to call MY daughters Doctors office and ask them to send ME her records. Today that DOES NOT happen. Caps are needed. Actually butt chewing is needed, but caps is all I can do right now.
But all this crazy spring break stuff made me come to a realization… I have awesome kids. Like primo awesome. Yes it is a lot of work to do with all of them, but they really are great. Andi and Oli do feed off each other and can be hyper as all get out in a store, or fighting in a store, or whatever, but in matters that matter they are great. And I am bragging and I am gonna say something that people may get offended by and I will apologize in advance for it. Some kids stare. Hard. And their parents don’t do anything about it. And it really sucks. And if my kid made your kid feel like a zoo exhibit I would say something to my child so that never happened again. I guess in our bubble of school, church, and neighborhood people don’t stare. But spring break we broke the bubble and went places we normally don’t go and so I got reminded how normal our family is not.
I know my kids are lucky, they have a sister in a wheelchair. They have an uncle in a wheelchair. They go to events with tons of kids who are “different” than them and they play with them and become friends with them. Andi especially has the biggest heart for these kids and causes fights in Lily’s class because all the boys want to marry her. She sees someone different and wants to friend them, hug them, help them. Oliver just usually covets cool wheels and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t get a “cool wheelchair”. We have people of every color, race, religion in and out of our home and they understand we are all different on a level most kids just don’t naturally see or understand. Our kids are lucky in this way, I know this and I don’t expect other kids to not be interested in people different than them. We are naturally curious. Kids are most vocal about their curiousness and I find it refreshing most of the time. It’s honesty in its purest form!
But when you walk into walls gawking it isn’t. I had to box out a little kid who was staring so hard at Lily having a seizure I should have gotten a foul. I am already upset at a seizure, another seizure, again and again, she is having them all the time now and yes I get upset about it. I am trying to keep my attitude in check. I am finding my blessings, but sometimes I am angry. I am angry that we can’t just have a nice day at the zoo with friends. It turns sad. A fun day at the pool turns sad. I have to click off a part of me that is sad and turn it to happy to be with my other kids who deserve a mom who is not always sad. So I am two faced. I do multitask my emotions and it can make me a little nutty and a little off balance and a little not ok with people staring. Probably way more sensitive than usual. And I am sorry.
I do want to say for the staring kids 9 out of 10 have moms that say “hey don’t stare” or “hey she’s just like you, just in a chair” (my favorite response I heard by a stranger followed with a sorry my kid just did that smile) so I am not a grumpy lady mad at the world, I am ok with those situations. I was even ok when the kid super loudly said “what happened to her mom?” it’s fine. I had Andi stalk this poor little person at a store and I did everything in my power to show her jewelry, clothes, anything to get her to leave this poor woman alone, but despite my hardest effort to distract her, she still went over to her and told her how much she liked her earrings. Phew. But I get it. Kids are kids and that is fine, great even! What I find not ok is how some parents just let us be totally uncomfortable with lasers beaming Lily and I while watching Oliver play in the mall play area. Like lasers that hurt. Like stop. Please. We have no second act. We have no clown car. We are just sitting here. No trapeze show about to start. Just sitting here. And still sitting here.
I know that the beautiful readers of my blog are awesome parents who don’t let their kids do this and so I am just complaining, not preaching. Believe me on our outings there are always kind smiles and those who run to open a door for us and I should be writing a whole post on those people, and I am sorry now that I am not. I guess I just hope our next spring break will not fall around PMS and with 2 weeks that may be hard, but sorry it did this time and with seizures so bad and with hormones my emotions were out of whack and I was grumpy and my feelings got hurt and I know I shouldn’t let things get to me, but it did. 
I am working on it and thinking next time we go out I should hand out Todd Parr Books.
It’s OK to be Different. It really is. 
School is back in session. I have 9 weeks before I become nutty again. Let’s enjoy this time.

2 thoughts on “Spring Break ?

  1. Multi-tasking emotions…love that one. Great post!

  2. Girl, you make me smile – for lots of reasons.Really love reading your posts and your raw(ish) honesty – I know you can't put everything in every post, but I'm sure it feels good to get a lot of it written into words!Talk soon.

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